Jen's Useless Accomplishments of 2017

Posted by Jen Tong on January 2, 2018

Every Friday I note some useless accomplishment I made in the previous week. It’s a helpful way for me to maintain a feeling of progress. In aggregate they tend to be pretty entertaining too.

Here’s a list of some of my most useless accomplishments of 2017.

  • Explored Meow Wolf.
  • Ate hot pot 3 nights in a row.
  • Went to Napa on a Tuesday, during a flood warning. Private tours everywhere!
  • Started my first D&D campaign.
  • Used git push origin master --force for a legitimate reason.
  • Gave a talk at the same event Buzz Aldrin spoke at.
  • Lost 0 fingers while using a table saw with all of the safety features disengaged.
  • Set up wireless backhaul in my apartment to get an old chromecast working better. Mysteriously broke the printer’s wifi.
  • Got my first roller derby black eye.
  • Got listed on Google Research. (Thanks Google+!)
  • Presented my first piece of installation art.
  • Got talk rejections from two conferences in a row.
  • Scored 77 points across 4 roller derby jams.
  • Drank 9 kinds of Japanese vending machine coffee.
  • Had my astronaut application officially rejected.
  • Made a fool of myself at a Japanese esports event.
  • After many rounds of firmware hacking, finally bricked my personal Google Glass. Booted a windows laptop off of a microsd card through 4 adapters (MicroSD -> SD -> CompactFlash -> PATA/ZIF40).
  • Broke compilation of an Android app by changing white space in a license header comment.
  • Did an aerial silks wheel down.
  • Picked all of the trainer locks at BSides LV.
  • Survivied using an unpatched Windows XP laptop at DEFCON.
  • Saw a total solar eclipse.
  • Live coded for 90 minutes without leaking an access token.
  • Used US dollars in a vending machine in Berlin.
  • Went to Poland mostly to collaborate with US based colleagues.
  • Hiked 3 times in one week.
  • Ran across 3 halloween street parties, all within a mile of each other. On October 8th. Nola really knows how to party.
  • Aggressively kicked a distinguished engineer out of a conference room, that they had booked >_<
  • Made it to 12,000 reputation on Stack Overflow.
  • Got my boss to draw me a dinosaur.
  • Something literally caught on fire while I was on livestream.
  • Sneezed while at a concert and had the performer said ‘God bless you’ to me… in the middle of their song.
  • Caught a Mewtwo in Pokemon Go.

These were all great, but my favorite useless accomplishment of 2017 has to be…

  • Spent 10 of my 18 hours between business trips playing D&D.

Thanks for the awesome 2017 everyone! It’s had some rough patches, but here’s to making 2018 even more great and stuff.